My name is Rachel Sheldon. I am a servant of God, a wife, & a mother....in that order. I am very happy person who enjoys the little blessings of daily life. I don't fancy myself a writer by any means, so my apologies for typos, misspellings, and poor grammar. I use this blog as a journal & a small connection to the outside world....so happy reading!
Ukraine's Got Talent! Yes they do. This woman is amazing. I am able to look past her awful Asian inspired bangs-begin-from-behind-the-head hair cut...and her weirdo bib outfit choice.
Yes, the video is 8 minutes & 33 seconds....but it is well worth the watch....just incredible. I have seen sand animation before with animals and various pictures....but this one takes the cake. It is simply stunning.
It did not take me several days to configure my High School Reunion outfit because it needed to be based on a pair of spanks and a specific push up bra.
I did not spend an entire evening sucking in my stomach to the point of abdominal muscle spasms. I am already in tip top shape....and the concept of tummy jiggles is just foreign to me.
I did not unbutton my pants as soon as I got back in my car to allow my neatly tucked in muffin top to spill out and finally breath....ugh. That's silly. I always wear pants that fit.
I did not take a piece of cake & then cut off the frosting from the neighboring piece leaving it totally frosting-less and plop in on my plate....and congratulate myself for "creating" a corner piece....mmm....cake.
I did not haul up several boxes of Christmas decorations & spread the contents all over my living room and then decide 1/2 way through the mess that I should go pay my bills. No way, I always finish my tasks before starting another.
I did not make my husband go eat his nearly odorless food far away from me because I thought it smelled funny and then eat a plate full of smelly eggs right next to him. I am never inconsistent.
I do not ask my tired daughter over and over if she wants to sit with mommy or daddy....when I know the answer is always mommy....just so I can hear her say that she prefers to be with me. That's pathetic.
I did not stuff tissue up Stella's nose in the grocery store because I only had 1 left....definitely not enough to last the rest of the shopping trip. My objective was clearly less tissue waste....and not to humiliate my child.
I have been honored with an award. I believe the last award I received was in college for "Resident Assistant with the most Programs"....clearly a lame made-up feel-good award....it doesn't count. So thank you Lisa, for the Honest Scrap award....I will accept it with pride.
Lisa is one of my my 45 cousins. (This is direct cousins & not including spouses...or any of Peter's family). She is a mom of 4 who keeps things light hearted with humor and perspective. I've only recently gotten to know her through the world of blogging & FB....which is totally lame....but I am happy to finally feel like I know more than just her name.
Here are the rules: 1. Thank the person who gave you the award and link to their blog. 2. Share 10 honest things about yourself. 3. Present this award to 7 other whose blogs you find brilliant in design or content. 4. Tell those 7 people they have been awarded.
You can always count on me to be honest....I realize that this is not always a good trait. This post was a bit harder for me because I feel like I've already (in one way or another) listed tons of honest things about me....from lists to food quirks to random facts...so sorry for repeats!
Here are my honest things:
1. I am psychotic about organization bins. I LOVE them! For those of you who have not seen my basement storage area....I'm sure I'll post about it in the near future. It's a sickness. I've embraced it & accept open mockery on the matter....because it's valid.
2. I HATE having my ears touched by anyone but myself. Sofia once tried to tickle my ear & it took all of my efforts to not involuntarily punch her. I did, however, freak out to the point of scaring her to tears....way to go Rach.
3. I need to have the dishes in arranged a very specific way in my dishwasher. The plates need to face away from the sink. I also need to have specific cups lined in specific places on the top rack. If Peter or a house guest loads them differently....I will rearrange them after they leave. There is no reasonable explanation for this.
4. I think they should eliminate cursive penmanship from school. What a waste. I also get annoyed with people who write in cursive....unless they are elderly...because the elderly really do have that extra time.
5. I hate going to the bathroom for a deuce with no reading material in hand....because otherwise I end up reading about my face lotion & Peter's deodorant for the zillion-th time.
6. I hate being hot. I always prefer winter & fall to summer & spring. I hate being sweaty & unable to cool down....because you can only take off so many layers. But if you're cold, you can always cozy up with one more layer.
7. My husband loves to whistle & I hate it....ESPECIALLY in the car.
8. I have lots of cousins. 30-something on one side & maybe 15 on the other? I don't know all of their names & certainly don't know spouse names....and DEFINITELY don't know their kids' names.
9. I love to cook & bake. I love learning about the scientific properties of food....which is why Food Network's Alton Brown is easily one of my top 3 heroes. One of my closet dreams is to go to culinary school...but not to work in a restaurant....just to learn....nerd alert!
10. As an adoptee....I used to wish to revisit Korea & find my birth mother....this wish has since vanished now that I have my own kids who look like me. I also enjoy making people VERY uncomfortable by playing the wildly inappropriate adoption card, "Well, my mommy didn't want me so she left me on a door step...." I do, however, still cry at any movie adoption/orphan related....even if they are lame or animated children's movies. These movies include Annie, Meet the Robinsons, Juno, & Harry Potter.
I choose to award the following bloggers for their honesty in the blog world.
It's been awhile since I've done one of these posts so I'm kinda nervous to start again....mostly because it's so revealing of what an awesome mom/wife I am.....right.
I did not wear the exact same pair of jeans 9 days in a row because they had no visible dirt and finally wash them only because Sofia said I was "icky" & "gross" & "smelly". (Megan, remember Stef? Barf)
I did not send Peter's cousin Kyle on a bike ride with Sofia to the park (without me or Peter)....only after he finished reading several books to her....so I could nap on my couch and continue my awesome streak of nothingness. I'm sure he loved making a long trip from D.C. to babysit our kids. Not me, I would not force parent duties our out-of-town house guest.
I did not cry during the last scenes of Meet the Robinsons and tell Sofia the very pathetic line "sometimes mommies just cry". That is so lame. I do not get emotionally overwhelmed by animated Disney movies.
I did not violently bust into the bathroom & force Sofia to pinch one off so I could sit down at go. That is an unpleasant experience that I would never force upon my child.
I have not finally give in and start reading Stella books while sitting on the toilet....and reason to myself that I was being a "good mommy" by not leaving my children unattended for substantial parts of the day and multi-tasking....and completely ignore the grossness factor.
I did not tell Sofia that her only afternoon options were to watch a movie, play video games, or nap....so that I could lay on the couch and nap. No way, I always engage my children in educational activities.
I did ignore my laundry for an entire week and then cry when I saw that our dirty laundry literally went from the ground to chute opening the ceiling.
I did not tell Sofia to bounce one of those gi-mungus balls to me in Walmart and proceed to back my noggin into a metal rack sending 14 huge hula hoops noisily rolling all over 4 different aisles. Not me, I am not clumsy...and I do not encourage my children to play with display toys.
I do not continually partake in this Not Me Monday blog thing and not provide the link to the lady who came up with it....giving her credit for the creative idea. Nope, I always give credit where credit is due.
Facts: Competition was staged at 159 different locations with more than 1,200 artists participating and over 334,000 votes cast.
One of the coolest part about it was that it was all free. Free to see. Free to vote.
Peter and I made our way downtown to see the larger entries that were outside. I will post just a few of my favorites.
4th Place: The Grand Dance Very cool. Right in the middle of the Grand River. Illuminated by solar energy.
5th Place: Moose Made entirely of welded steel nails. This one was awesome.
6th Place: Nessie - The Loch Ness Monster Sofia's favorite.
8th Place: Table & Chairs on Bridge Actual title: The Furniture City Sets the Table for the World of Art That long title is annoying....but the art entry was cool.
So after the voting was all done and the winner was announced....I just had to go see the winner. At this point, I had only seen what was outside....so I took the girls to see what was in the Federal Building. I heard 1st place was awesome and saw some pictures....but they all look like the artist took a massive digital picture....like this one. Nope, it is oil on canvas.
1st Place: Open Water No. 24
So you will have to excuse the quality of my pictures....I only had my phone. But to show you that this really IS oil on canvas....and not a digital picture (because it is that amazing) I took a bunch of up close pictures.
Zoom in #1
Zoom in #2
Zoom in #3
Another jaw dropping entry in the Federal Building was 3rd place entry...by Eric Daigh.
3rd Place: Portraits
Okay....so I know these don't look all that impressive....but they are constructed with push pins!!
Again, these pictures are with my phone...so bear with me. So here is one of the portraits up close. This is a pictures of the lips.
Zoom Out #1
Zoom Out #2
Zoom Out #3
AMAZING!!
This was one entry that I did see, but would have really like to. Title: Ecstasy of the Scarlet Empress Constructed of balloons
CONCLUSION: Grand Rapids Art Prize was awesome. I feel guilty that I didn't take more time to look at all the venues and entries....only the ones outside and the few in the Federal Building. The best part was that it brought tons of people downtown. The streets were filled with pedestrians....like a big city.
I am very happy with the winner. Not that I'm some sort of art snob, but I am happy that the winning entry required true talent.
Well, it has been an embarrassingly long time since I've posted to my blog. With the death of our laptop, the opportunity to sit in front of the computer is very little....not to mention that for some reason I've stowed away my camera....not really sure why. So my apologies for the quality of these pictures as they are from my phone. I've also had a resurgence of GI (Gastrointestinal) malfunctions which has left me relatively incapacitated. For GI history, click here. So a few snapshots to catch up.
Two is always better than one
Say it ain't so....Home Depot delivers the $500 check owed to us for the paint spillage. For the background story or if you would like to just be aggravated, click here.
This was a shirt my brother Mike bought for himself. Nice wool shirt from Banana Republic. Yeah....it got washed...and shrunk. Not it's perfect for Sofia.
Griff! Stella cried & hung on to me for dear life. Sofia doesn't look all that reassured either.
I teach art to Kindergartners at St. Mark Lutheran. This was my first project.
Playing with food is fun.
Matching pajamas. Stella spilled my coffee on them at Meijer. So we had to buy them.
Proof that I do sometimes feed my children healthy food.
Children's Museam when Grandma Feyen was in town. Sofia loves the giant bubbles. Grandma bought us a season's pass....sweet!!
Neighbor girls on a sunny day.
Neighbor girls again
Leaf piles in the fall are awesome.
Stella does not look like a boy....well, maybe a little
Carving pumpkins. Stella gagged once we cut the top off.
Sofia likes everything except touching the pumpkin.
The final product. Stella's is on the left and Fia's on the right.
Trick or Treat time! Nona....Stella's costume is on backwards. Apparently they were rushed. No one noticed...except me.
I did not send Nona these pictures to her phone earlier that week.
Halloween 2009 The original costume was reversed with Peter as the devil. But to be more true to form...we switched. ...and I wanted to win the prize. ...and I told Peter he would never dare to do it. I was wrong Awesome.
Made white cheddar asparagus soup for a fundraiser chili/soup cook-off at church. I was going to post the recipe, but it was waaaaay to much work because I had to fill 2 crockpots. I'll do it some other time. p.s. I won (yes!)
Last weekend Peter and I hosted our first house party. We had a beer tasting competition. We think people had a good time. 5 correct (of 12) was the winner. 90% only got 3 (or less).
Let's talk about how this kid may have serious social development problems when he is older. There is a moment when he is screaming and it might be really scary. But some of the stuff towards the end is just nuts! YIKES!
Highlights:
0:32 -- The "Crouching Tiger" wall flip.
0:41 -- Backflips on the kitchen table.
1:43 -- Doing barbell curls with toddlers dancing to 50 Cent in the background.
Curves Make A Comeback....Please? I do not know of one woman who cannot name at least one part of their body that they would like to change. I'm not sure when curves became a woman's image enemy....but I think that they are slowly making a comeback.
Victoria Beckham vs. Halle Berry I feel a surge of women who wish to fight against the your-body-must-display-your-clothes-like-a-hanger look. I think Halle Berry is the clear winner on this one....although it doesn't hurt that Halle's face (which isn't even pictured) is also nearly perfect.
Eyes on the Prize Even our Presidents can't resist women with curves....tsk tsk! I love the guy's expression on the right.
"Oh excuse me...while I accidentally graze my hand across those forbidden fruits....over and over again"
Curvy Women Are Smarter Women with wide hips & a low waist-hip ratio have been shown in a study to be smarter and have smarter kids. William Lassek of the University of Pittsburgh, & Steven Gaulin of the University of California, found that curvy women consistently outscored their skinny counterparts in cognition tests, & also that a child's cognitive performance was directly linked to their mother's waist-hip ratio. The study relied on data of more than 16,000 women from the US National Center for Health Statistics. Children whose mothers had wide hips and a low waist-hip ratio scored highest, leading Lassek and Gaulin to suggest that fetuses benefit from hip fat that contains polyunsaturated fatty acids critical for the development of the fetus's brain. The findings were published by Evolution and Human Behavior scientific journal.....so eat it skinny girls!!! (and by "it" I am referring to donuts, french fries, or Twinkies will do)
Workin Yer Money Maker And finally, we have the badonkadonk. For those who are not sure what this is....please read the following definition
Badonkadonk Definition: The word is derived from the sound produced when you bounce a basketball. Often used as an expression for an extremely curvaceous female gluteus maximus that is both symmetrical (width/depth) and jiggles with ease using a slight hip popping motion. Women who posses this feature will have either a small waist that explodes into a large round posterior or moderately wide hips and with an abundant amount of rear cleavage (depth of butt-crack).
Used in a sentence: Yo, check out the nice badonkadonk on that girl!
Jennifer Lopez & Serena Williams workin their badonkadonks
Two examples of this word being used in pop culture 1. This subway commercial (another favorite of mine)
2. The Trace Adkin's song "Honky Tonk Badonkadonk" Well, I was gonna post his video, but as it pertains to the badonkadonk....I decided that it was just a bit too.......visual. So I give you a snippet of the lyrics. If you need to see the video, click here.
Now Honey, you can't blame her, For what her mama gave her It ain't right to hate her, For workin' that money-maker Band shuts down at 2, But we're hangin' out till 3 We hate to see her go, But love to watch her leave With that honky tonk badonkadonk Keepin' perfect rhythm, Make ya wanna swing along Got it goin' on, Like Donkey Kong And whoo-wee, Shut my mouth, slap your grandma There outta be a law, Get the Sheriff on the phone Lord have mercy, how's she even get them britches on With that honky tonk badonkadonk
And the ladies in the video did not have badonkadonks by definition....they had something more like 2 wee grapefruits covered up by jeans.
And finally....I like Trace Adkins....but I do not wish to slap my grandma....can someone shed some light on these lyrics for me? I am lost.
Okay, so I know I've been quite lazy about my blog in recent weeks....this is mostly due to our dead laptop. And since our computer is not in the same room as our TV....I choose to sit with my husband in the evenings instead of in front of the computer. So if anyone has an old laptop that they care to donate to me....let me know. So a short Not Me Monday list to get myself back on the blog wagon.
I did not almost hit a mailbox because I was assisting Stella with her shoes in the car. My kids are always dressed before we leave the house.
I did let my husband know via a text that I was tired & headed to bed....when he was sitting right next to me......NERD ALERT!
I did not sit in our car for an extra 5 minutes so i could listen to free beer & hot wings radio show.
I did not scold Stella for throwing tiny toys down the laundry shoot and then once she was napping.....throw tiny toys down the laundry shoot....as it is the most efficient way to get them to the basement. That do not hold double standards.
I did not spend tons of time rearranging all the dishes in the dishwasher to accommodate my large strainer & bowl....easily more time than it would take to just wash the stupid things. No way, that is counter-productive.
Is it pathetic that this is my 21st week doing this? Ugh...another fantastic week of things I did not do or say....
I did not completely ignore Stella's whining in the car about her doll & realize after people were gawking at us in the grocery store....that Miss Dolly was headless. Not me, that would make me the crazy lady who lets her children play with decapitated dolls....that's morbid & disturbing.
I did not swerve in front of the lady who nearly killed us because she was talking on her cell phone & oblivious to the driving world.....& then slow down to 15 below the speed limit....and when she finally passed me....I did not meet her dagger eyes with a smirk & pretend to be talking on my cell phone. Not me, road rage is not the answer.
I did not get honked at a stop light because my face was not 2 inches from my rear view mirror in a very awkward attempt to dislodge a giant piece of bacon stuck in a back molar using my fingernail. No way, that's gross & unsanitary. I always have floss & toothpicks handy for such occasions.
I did not tell Sofia that my ipod was broke & would only play The Killers....so we couldn't listen to her Vacation Bible School songs. I never miss an opportunity to deliver the wonderful message of Jesus to my children.....especially through extremely repetitive & simplistic jingles that stick in your head for weeks.
I did not allow my legs to become so dry that Sofia and I were able to draw beautiful butterflies & play several games of Tic Tac Toe on the overly chapped surface. That's gross.
I did not add a raspberry cereal bar to my apple & banana fruit bowl in a sad attempt to claim it as another very healthy fruit option.
And the things I definitely did not say....
"Sofia, just because I said that you got your hair from dad....doesn't mean you have "dad hair" so relax!"
Look Fia, just because I call it a "coin slot" doesn't' mean you should actually put coins down it! Now stop inserting coins into my rear & into Stella's diaper! Lots of people call them plumber cracks too...."
After you make your choice...you have to scroll over to see voter results. Well, I'm not entirely sure what happened to this picture....but it's creepy.
Sometimes I think if someone followed me around & narrated my life that they would be extremely bored & unimpressed. Although I do think some situations would be much cooler with background music...just like the movies. If only I could cue awesome action music....or cue emotional sappy tunes during various moments in my day.
Anyways, this clip doesn't pertain to background movie music....it is just funny to me every time.
Peter puts paint order in at Home Depot. Home Depot forgets one of the gallons on the order. Peter returns to Home Depot to pick it up. Home Depot gently sets top on paint. Home Depot does not secure top with machine thingy. Peter turns out of Home Depot parking lot. Paint bucket tips & paint pours out. Home Depot tries to deny any & all fault.
SWEET!!
Needless to say....Peter was not pleased with Home Depot. And of course....it had to be the ONLY gallon of red paint.
The damage....from a distance
A little closer
Front: Passenger side...by the door
Middle Bench: There were literally pools of paint
Under front passenger seat....more pools
4 Bags of clean-up mess & damaged floor mats, blankets, etc.
After a long-ish break from blogging....here I am again with another list of the things I did not do or say....
I was not late picking Sofia up from school because I spent several minutes in the parking lot dusting off the orange cheese powder that covered my shirt, face, & fingers because I was not gorging myself with Cheese Puffs like a hungry lioness with a fresh kill.
I did not find myself driving down the center of the road because I needed to pour the final cheese puffs from the huge bag directly into my mouth to consume every single crumb. That would be dangerous....and really, the important thing is that I was not wasteful with my food.
I did not shamelessly bag my 4 bananas in 4 separate bags & then proceed to quadruple bag those 4 bags for a total of 16 because I was out of my "dirty diaper disposal bags" at home.
When I saw my neighbor approaching for a chat, I did not casually stand up & discretely tuck my excess tummy skin back into my jeans, sit back down, & blouse out my shirt to hide my glorious mommy muffin top that likes to spill over the top & sides of my pants. Not me. I am proud of my had-a-few-babies-&-your-body-will-never-be-the-same-belly.
I did not ignore Sofia's polite request to "PLEASE TURN THE MUSIC DOWN MOMMY!!" because I needed to listen to Journey at rock concert volume. Surely she enjoyed my Journey/Supertramp/Styx mix.
I did not wait till a weird orangey colored ring showed up on inside of my toilet to finally clean it. I keep my house free of unknown growing mold & germ related bacteria.
I did not insist that Sofia wear a long sleeve shirt & wear a t-shirt....with a terrible excuse that my only long sleeve shirt is "dirty". That is outright dishonesty.
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