Friday, November 7, 2008

For The Record: Part 2

Another test for anyone who reads my blog. Below are two pictures of two individuals making an evaluation about their appearances. Please pick which sentence an accurate self assessment. (If you fail this test, then our current relationship status will be on hold until further notice)

Picture #1


Picture #2
ANSWER: Picture #2 is clearly an an accurate self assessment.

For the Record:
#1. If you are skinny (you know who you are!!!) and complain about your body being fat, then you fall into a category of people who should be banished to an island where only deluded and idiotic people live. You can take refuge in other punk people who say they are terrible at something (i.e. sports, music, art, etc) and then happen to "miraculously" be awesome. You make thicker and bigger boned people angry because you say stupid things fishing for compliments that you don't deserve....because you secretly know in your head that everyone else wants your jean size that happens to be less than the number of fingers on my right hand.

#2. On the flip side....if you are obese...(I'm talking about people who have several rolls between their knee and the place where their ankle is supposed to be)....please do not make statements about your fatness as it makes unfat people feel uncomfortable and awkward. You needn't state the obvious because most people can not miss you or your size. Nonfat people already have guilt eating delicious burgers in front of you. And please hold eating super-sized value meals in public....its just disgusting for all surrounding parties involved.

And if you do not know where you fall...then assume you are skinny and don't say anything at all....as hearing about personal weight dissatisfaction is both annoying and a waste of time. If you are fat, then eat less and you will lose weight. If you are skinny, then just shut up.

Credits
: This is a pet peeve that I initially stole from my sister-in-law, but have added it to my personal list. Thanks Les!

3 comments:

Sarah Geelhoed said...

thanks for making me laugh daily! i don't know what i ever did without your blog! i don't have the rolls on my knees but i DO have a HUGE bump protruding from my belly that i secretly complain about daily...so that might have to end after reading your inspirations!:)

Rach said...

HUGE protruding bumps on pregnant women are a valid excuse to complain about fatness...as it does not make others uneasy or awkward because you are clearly pregnant. You also have the right to super size your meals as you are eating for more than one person. If, however, you are pregnant and so huge that people can not identify your pregnacy because your back is as fat as your front....then the old rules apply.

Anonymous said...

For someone who claims to serve God you are truly unkind, judgemental, and just plain mean. You should be ashamed of yourself.

 

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