Saturday, November 29, 2008

Guyliner

There has been a massive change in the roles of men and women in the past 20 years. I think that men are being feminized and women are being masculinized. I feel like I could write an 80 page thesis on this topic so I will just periodically touch on various points.

Guyliner and Manscara are relatively new additions to the male fashion....most common with Emo punks, musicians, and those "misunderstood" adolescent attention seekers. I think this form of individual expression crosses the line. Guys don't even need to steal makeup out of their sister's makeup anymore because they now have their own product.
There are, however, instances when guyliner is both appropriate and necessary.

1. Clowns
Clowns need guyliner to compliment their gi-mungus red noses and freaky white faces. Side Note: I happen to hate clowns. Any person who thinks that someone with a creepy white face, colored cotton candy hair, size 20 shoes, and who wears ridiculous over-stimulating frilly outfits is supposed to create happy feelings in unsuspecting innocent children is delusional. Clowns are scary. I always hated Bozo....his games were lame too....whoo-hoo...throw the ball in the bucket....he couldn't even juggle...what a lame clown. I blame my personal hatred on the movies such as It, Batman, and Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory.

2. Pirates
I'm not sure the origin of pirates' dark eyes....maybe its supposed to be dirt. Whatever the reason.....it doesn't bother me and I excuse it without further explanation. Plus, its awesome to speak pirate.....Arrrrgg! National Talk Like A Pirate Day is September 19th....please take note and pencil it in yerrrr calendarrrrs for 2009!

3. Rock Band Members
Clearly this is part of their stage presence. It can also be easily argued that they take massive amounts of illegal drugs that inhibit their common sense and impair their judgement. Plus, they would look pretty ridiculous with just the outfits and no make up. Non-rock band member men who wear such outfits with no makeup are usually arrested.

4. Mimes
This might be a sub-category of clowns. I might hate mimes more than clowns. I do NOT find the I-can't-speak-and-there-is-an-imaginary-wall-in-front-of-my-face-so-I-will-do-that-stupid-open-hand-wall-press-motion amusing in any way. It makes want to push them to the ground just to see if the imaginary wall will go away. And what's with the black and white stripes? Are they supposed to be in jail? I would not care if mimes ceased to exist.

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