Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Your Call Is Important to Us

I have been quite busy these days.....the reason for my non blog posting. Yesterday I spent a good 3 hours on the phone with various companies such as AT&T, U.S.A.A., Priority Health, M.M.P.C, United Health Care, & 3 different banks. I would say that about 10 minutes was actual talk time....the rest was a repeat of lies....& terrible music. My ear hurt & I had a bad kink in my neck from holding the phone hands free to get a few things done while waiting. Can't they at least have a cool voice planting the lies such as Sean Connery or Morgan Freeman....or even Samual L. Jackson in angry Pulp Fiction style....that'd be cool.

I found this today & it made me angry all over again....because it is so true!

Your Call Is Important To Us by Neil Pasricha

Thank you for calling Middle Trust and Loan. All of our operators are currently serving other customers. Please stay on the line for the next available representative.


We apologize for the delay. Please continue to hold and a representative will be with you shortly. We appreciate your patience.


Thank you for holding. Please hold. Thank you.


Thank you for holding. Your call is important to us. Please stay on the line for the next available representative. Unless, of course, there is someone ahead of you in this queue, in which case the next available representative will serve them instead of you.


Thank you for calling Middle Trust and Loan. This phone system was purchased to better serve you and the customers of Middle Trust and Loan. Unfortunately, due to the costs of the system, we were forced to reduce the number of operators who answer calls, thereby ultimately increasing your holding time. Sorry about that.


Thank you for holding. Your call is important to us. Of course, since this is a recorded message, everyone who calls is told that their call is important to us. If a stray dog were to accidentally type in this phone number with his nose from a pay phone then that dog would be told his call was important to us. If a bored housewife were to call us during the day just to listen to our hold music on her speakerphone then she would be told her call was important to us, too. In both cases, it seems likely that these calls would be unimportant to us. You might well wonder how we could assure you that your call is important to us when, in reality, we have no idea as to the importance of your call. Thank you for holding.


Thank you for your patience. By tolerating our inability to answer your question or comment in a timely fashion, you are saving us a great deal of money.


We appreciate your patience. We have noticed that you are quite a patient person, as you have not hung up the phone, despite the wait you have endured thus far. Perhaps you are of the mind that you have invested so much time in this call that you may as well keep waiting, because you'll just have to wait again the next time you call anyway. Simple economics, however, shows that this reasoning is flawed. All the time that has passed while you have been waiting is a sunk cost, and you should make a rational decision now about holding based only on the amount of future time necessary to invest and what you could be doing otherwise. It's the same as if you bought a hockey ticket for a hundred dollars and were then invited to a party for the same night. When deciding whether you should go to the party or the hockey game, you should not consider the money already spent. The hundred dollars is gone regardless of the decision you make. So, since you had no idea how long this call would take when you first called, and you still have no idea how long this call will take, it is unreasonable to want to keep waiting merely because you have already been waiting so long. Thank you for calling Middle Trust and Loan.


Thank you for calling Middle Trust and Loan. Our offices are now closed. Please call back during regular business hours from Monday to Friday, or call your local branch for more information.

I honestly believe this was on the other end of my phone calls....


baorao said...

While I can sympathize somewhat, I'd rather sit on hold for a half hour than have to play "guess what I said" with those stupid automated voice menus.

"Say Customer Service to speak to a custo--"

"Customer Service"

"Alright. I think you said 'Customer Service', is that correct?"


"I'm sorry, did you say 'Yes'?"
I don't understand why pressing numbers had to be phased out. Are people's fingers too fat for that now?

Rach said...

Yes Ba, so true. I always try to press "0" in hopes that it will direct me to an actual person, but then it tells me "I did not hear your answer" & the menu lady repeats. So many prompts & confirmations to get from one menu to the next. And then when get an actual person....I have to go through another series of identity confirmations....and then explain my problem all over again...after I have already been on the phone 40 minutes....arg! But again, why can't they have an awesome menu voice instead of that irritating lady!


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