Monday, July 27, 2009

Not Me Monday

It has been a few weeks since I've posted one of I thought I'd better get some of them off my list. So whew! Another few weeks of things I did not do or say....

  • I did not remember an 8:30am appointment at 8:11am....which did not result in me throwing my pajama'ed children into the van with pop tarts & doing a wardrobe change in the waiting room. Nope, not me. I am always prepared & never "that" mom.

  • I make rubber gloves into small balloons for my kids while waiting for the doctor to see us...and allow them to bat them around the room with the giant popsicle stick tongue presser thingys. I would never waste office supplies....especially without permission.

  • I did not reluctantly allow Sofia to use my new Sharpie fine tip markers to write a birthday card....and then hover over her shoulder like a helicopter to closely monitor how hard she was pressing. That is silly & possessive....I love to share my things...and besides, I only did that type of stuff when I was like.....7.

  • I did not haul my kids to the Farmer's Market with the intent to buy fresh & healthy produce....and come out with 2 items: a chocolate covered pretzel & fudge. I did not reason that endorphins to my brain is way healthier than silly fruits & vegetables.....because internal happiness is the ultimate goal....right?

  • I did not roll down my window & scream "Yeah, Hot Mamma! Whoo Hoo!!" at my friend on a walk with her kids....and then realize it was definitely NOT my friend & some completely frightened stranger. I did not revel in her confusion & awkward embarrassment & continue to obnoxiously wave as if she should know me.

  • I did not go through my house & systematically shove all the messes into drawers & closets to make it look like I had a full day of cleaning & organizing.

  • I did not plop Sofia in front of the tv so I could check my blogs & finish working on my own. I have used this entire summer to engage my child in educational activities which stimulate her academic mind. I do not use help from Dora, Diego, or Super Why.

  • I did not happily sleep in while my husband got up extra early to start of the busiest few weeks of the entire year at work. No way, I am a good wife who wakes up with her husband to make his coffee & lunch & see him off with a kiss & "I love you!"

  • I did not give Sofia the "eat healthier" lecture, make her eat her broccoli & then decide that beef jerky & gummi worms (the sour kind) were 100% acceptable for my own dinner....mmm...beef glorious.

  • I did not tell Sofia she could play computer games only if she finished her turkey sandwich. I do not use video games as bribes for healthy living.

  • I did not allow Stella to eat a dinner consisting of cupcakes & ice cream at her cousin's birthday. No way, I always make sure she eats a healthy meal filled with protein, whole grain, & fiber before dessert.

I also did not have the chance to say the following.....
  • "Yes Fia, I know my arms jiggle. You're right....if I work out, then maybe someday my arms can be a sick gun show like yours....humility & tact are new words we're gonna learn this week."

  • "No Stella....get out of there! You may not climb under my skirt"

  • "SOFIA! Do not stick your hands down your pants! I don't care if you see boys do it...they do it because they have something to grab, you do not....don't do it again!"

  • "No Fia....let's not go pet that doggy right now....because I just saw it licking it's tinkle bum & I know it's gonna probably lick your hands and Stella's face...."

  • " this stinky's or chocolate on your pants....[SNIFF SNIFF]....hmmm, I think it's chocolate, but I can't remember when you would have had any today....let's just take this off & put on clean shorts.....being a mom is so awesome"

  • "Sure Fia, you can have a tea party with Cinderella AND Sleeping Beauty at the same time in Heaven....yes, I'm sure Cinderella won't mind if you are wearing your dress up glass slippers too."


Sandy Hop said...

Great post, Rach! Way to style out the accidental wave. Never would have thought of that! I would cower in my absent mindedness. Love how you embrace it.

Emily said...

You are hilarous. I laughed out loud about yelling at your "friend" on the street.


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