I still don't know why I bother with this intro....but oh well. Here is yet another list of all the things that I did not do or say in the past few weeks....
- I did not make engine sounds and pretend I was a race car driver while speeding through the Grand Rapids S-curve. That is a behavior restricted to boys...and besides, I don't speed.
- I did not allow my children think the laundry detergent samples at the Dr.'s office were some sort of edible delight & then pretend to not see them each take a few. That is just pathetic.....on several levels.
- I did not allow Stella to forgo her dinner & have Charly's birthday cake as a healthy replacement. Not me. I always make sure my children eat a well balanced & healthy meal before I permit extreme sugar consumption. I did not allow this very same thing to happen at cousin Maggie & Henry's birthdays gatherings as well.
- I did not forget to return 4 of Lindsay's cute dresses for an entire summer so that I could continue to wear them to 5 different wedding. They are not still hanging in my closet waiting to be returned. I always returned borrowed items immediately.
- I did not wear the wrong underwear to my soccer game & spend 98% of the game digging it out of my hungry rear end. Nope, not me. My butt has definitely not outgrown any of my underwear and besides....this statement can't be true because I am our coed MVP and spend my 80 minutes making amazing plays....or scoring.
- I did not forget about a load of laundry in the washer for several days & then remember when I went into my basement & almost passed out from the smell.
- I did not almost bump into the car in front of our van because the song Father Abraham "forced" me to take my foot off the brake. I do not get caught up in children's songs so much that I forget basic driving safety precautions.
And the things that I definitely did not say.....
- "Shhhhhh!....[whisper] no, Sofia...that man is not turning into a bear, he just has a lot of back hair....but let's talk about it in the car, okay?"
- "Stella! For the last time....get your finger out of your butt! What is your deal?"
- "Fia, go smell your sister's butt & tell me if she went stinky....no, you gotta get your nose super close & take a big whiff.....yeah, like that."
- "Yep, both of those girls belong to me.....that's right, same daddy...."