Monday, August 17, 2009

Not Me Monday

I still don't know why I bother with this intro....but oh well. Here is yet another list of all the things that I did not do or say in the past few weeks....

  • I did not make engine sounds and pretend I was a race car driver while speeding through the Grand Rapids S-curve. That is a behavior restricted to boys...and besides, I don't speed.
  • I did not allow my children think the laundry detergent samples at the Dr.'s office were some sort of edible delight & then pretend to not see them each take a few. That is just pathetic.....on several levels.
  • I did not allow Stella to forgo her dinner & have Charly's birthday cake as a healthy replacement. Not me. I always make sure my children eat a well balanced & healthy meal before I permit extreme sugar consumption. I did not allow this very same thing to happen at cousin Maggie & Henry's birthdays gatherings as well.
  • I did not forget to return 4 of Lindsay's cute dresses for an entire summer so that I could continue to wear them to 5 different wedding. They are not still hanging in my closet waiting to be returned. I always returned borrowed items immediately.
  • I did not wear the wrong underwear to my soccer game & spend 98% of the game digging it out of my hungry rear end. Nope, not me. My butt has definitely not outgrown any of my underwear and besides....this statement can't be true because I am our coed MVP and spend my 80 minutes making amazing plays....or scoring.
  • I did not forget about a load of laundry in the washer for several days & then remember when I went into my basement & almost passed out from the smell.
  • I did not almost bump into the car in front of our van because the song Father Abraham "forced" me to take my foot off the brake. I do not get caught up in children's songs so much that I forget basic driving safety precautions.

And the things that I definitely did not say.....
  • "Shhhhhh!....[whisper] no, Sofia...that man is not turning into a bear, he just has a lot of back hair....but let's talk about it in the car, okay?"
  • "Stella! For the last time....get your finger out of your butt! What is your deal?"
  • "Fia, go smell your sister's butt & tell me if she went, you gotta get your nose super close & take a big whiff.....yeah, like that."
  • "Yep, both of those girls belong to me.....that's right, same daddy...."


Sandy Hop said...

Awesome post Rach. Again, you have me totally laughing out loud. You should post one of these every day. :)

Anonymous said...

When we moved here Chris' students were amazed that all 4 of those kids were his...with the same woman...the woman he was married to...And he was married BEFORE the kids started arriving. It was a sad commentary about the home life of his students!

Laanykidsmom said...

Rach, I don't think it's fair to chastise your daughter for where her finger is when you've been digging underwear out. :) And I agree with Sandy - if you posted one of these everyday, you would be spreading a lot of joy and laughter around!


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