Tuesday, October 27, 2009

My Kid Can Beat Up Your Kid....or This Kid Can

Let's talk about how this kid may have serious social development problems when he is older. There is a moment when he is screaming and it might be really scary. But some of the stuff towards the end is just nuts! YIKES!


0:32 -- The "Crouching Tiger" wall flip.

0:41 -- Backflips on the kitchen table.

1:43 -- Doing barbell curls with toddlers dancing to 50 Cent in the background.

3:19 -- More flipping, this time from a high bar.

3:39 -- Amazing

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Curves, IQ, & the Badonkadonk

Curves Make A Comeback....Please?
I do not know of one woman who cannot name at least one part of their body that they would like to change. I'm not sure when curves became a woman's image enemy....but I think that they are slowly making a comeback.

Victoria Beckham vs. Halle Berry
I feel a surge of women who wish to fight against the your-body-must-display-your-clothes-like-a-hanger look. I think Halle Berry is the clear winner on this one....although it doesn't hurt that Halle's face (which isn't even pictured) is also nearly perfect.

Eyes on the Prize
Even our Presidents can't resist women with curves....tsk tsk! I love the guy's expression on the right.

"Oh excuse me...while I accidentally graze my hand across those forbidden fruits....over and over again"

Curvy Women Are Smarter
Women with wide hips & a low waist-hip ratio have been shown in a study to be smarter and have smarter kids. William Lassek of the University of Pittsburgh, & Steven Gaulin of the University of California, found that curvy women consistently outscored their skinny counterparts in cognition tests, & also that a child's cognitive performance was directly linked to their mother's waist-hip ratio. The study relied on data of more than 16,000 women from the US National Center for Health Statistics. Children whose mothers had wide hips and a low waist-hip ratio scored highest, leading Lassek and Gaulin to suggest that fetuses benefit from hip fat that contains polyunsaturated fatty acids critical for the development of the fetus's brain.
The findings were published by Evolution and Human Behavior scientific journal.....so eat it skinny girls!!! (and by "it" I am referring to donuts, french fries, or Twinkies will do)

Workin Yer Money Maker
And finally, we have the badonkadonk. For those who are not sure what this is....please read the following definition

Badonkadonk Definition:
The word is derived from the sound produced when you bounce a basketball. Often used as an expression for an extremely curvaceous female gluteus maximus that is both symmetrical (width/depth) and jiggles with ease using a slight hip popping motion. Women who posses this feature will have either a small waist that explodes into a large round posterior or moderately wide hips and with an abundant amount of rear cleavage (depth of butt-crack).

Used in a sentence: Yo, check out the nice badonkadonk on that girl!

Jennifer Lopez & Serena Williams workin their badonkadonks

Two examples of this word being used in pop culture
1. This subway commercial (another favorite of mine)

2. The Trace Adkin's song "Honky Tonk Badonkadonk" Well, I was gonna post his video, but as it pertains to the badonkadonk....I decided that it was just a bit too.......visual. So I give you a snippet of the lyrics. If you need to see the video, click here.

Now Honey, you can't blame her, For what her mama gave her
It ain't right to hate her, For workin' that money-maker
Band shuts down at 2, But we're hangin' out till 3
We hate to see her go, But love to watch her leave
With that honky tonk badonkadonk
Keepin' perfect rhythm, Make ya wanna swing along
Got it goin' on, Like Donkey Kong
And whoo-wee, Shut my mouth, slap your grandma
There outta be a law, Get the Sheriff on the phone
Lord have mercy, how's she even get them britches on
With that honky tonk badonkadonk

And the ladies in the video did not have badonkadonks by definition....they had something more like 2 wee grapefruits covered up by jeans.

And finally....I like Trace Adkins....but I do not wish to slap my grandma....can someone shed some light on these lyrics for me? I am lost.

Monday, October 19, 2009

Not Me Monday

Okay, so I know I've been quite lazy about my blog in recent weeks....this is mostly due to our dead laptop. And since our computer is not in the same room as our TV....I choose to sit with my husband in the evenings instead of in front of the computer. So if anyone has an old laptop that they care to donate to me....let me know. So a short Not Me Monday list to get myself back on the blog wagon.

  • I did not almost hit a mailbox because I was assisting Stella with her shoes in the car. My kids are always dressed before we leave the house.
  • I did let my husband know via a text that I was tired & headed to bed....when he was sitting right next to me......NERD ALERT!
  • I did not sit in our car for an extra 5 minutes so i could listen to free beer & hot wings radio show.
  • I did not scold Stella for throwing tiny toys down the laundry shoot and then once she was napping.....throw tiny toys down the laundry shoot....as it is the most efficient way to get them to the basement. That do not hold double standards.
  • I did not spend tons of time rearranging all the dishes in the dishwasher to accommodate my large strainer & bowl....easily more time than it would take to just wash the stupid things. No way, that is counter-productive.

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Clone Wars

When Sofia was born, I was thrilled to finally have a "mini me"....as I am adopted and she was the first person I knew that truly looked like me.

My mother-in-law, Pati, always tells me that Stella reminds her so much of Peter.....mannerisms AND looks. I supposed she's right.

And then some people say that they think Sofia & Stella look alike....does that mean that me and Peter look alike?

Monday, October 5, 2009

Not Me Monday

Is it pathetic that this is my 21st week doing this? Ugh...another fantastic week of things I did not do or say....

  • I did not completely ignore Stella's whining in the car about her doll & realize after people were gawking at us in the grocery store....that Miss Dolly was headless. Not me, that would make me the crazy lady who lets her children play with decapitated dolls....that's morbid & disturbing.
  • I did not swerve in front of the lady who nearly killed us because she was talking on her cell phone & oblivious to the driving world.....& then slow down to 15 below the speed limit....and when she finally passed me....I did not meet her dagger eyes with a smirk & pretend to be talking on my cell phone. Not me, road rage is not the answer.
  • I did not get honked at a stop light because my face was not 2 inches from my rear view mirror in a very awkward attempt to dislodge a giant piece of bacon stuck in a back molar using my fingernail. No way, that's gross & unsanitary. I always have floss & toothpicks handy for such occasions.
  • I did not tell Sofia that my ipod was broke & would only play The Killers....so we couldn't listen to her Vacation Bible School songs. I never miss an opportunity to deliver the wonderful message of Jesus to my children.....especially through extremely repetitive & simplistic jingles that stick in your head for weeks.
  • I did not allow my legs to become so dry that Sofia and I were able to draw beautiful butterflies & play several games of Tic Tac Toe on the overly chapped surface. That's gross.
  • I did not add a raspberry cereal bar to my apple & banana fruit bowl in a sad attempt to claim it as another very healthy fruit option.

And the things I definitely did not say....
  • "Sofia, just because I said that you got your hair from dad....doesn't mean you have "dad hair" so relax!"
  • Look Fia, just because I call it a "coin slot" doesn't' mean you should actually put coins down it! Now stop inserting coins into my rear & into Stella's diaper! Lots of people call them plumber cracks too...."

Thursday, October 1, 2009

The Truth is Exposed


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