Short and sweet today.....I have a busy week!
- It did not take me several days to configure my High School Reunion outfit because it needed to be based on a pair of spanks and a specific push up bra.
- I did not spend an entire evening sucking in my stomach to the point of abdominal muscle spasms. I am already in tip top shape....and the concept of tummy jiggles is just foreign to me.
- I did not unbutton my pants as soon as I got back in my car to allow my neatly tucked in muffin top to spill out and finally breath....ugh. That's silly. I always wear pants that fit.
- I did not take a piece of cake & then cut off the frosting from the neighboring piece leaving it totally frosting-less and plop in on my plate....and congratulate myself for "creating" a corner piece....mmm....cake.
- I did not haul up several boxes of Christmas decorations & spread the contents all over my living room and then decide 1/2 way through the mess that I should go pay my bills. No way, I always finish my tasks before starting another.
- I did not make my husband go eat his nearly odorless food far away from me because I thought it smelled funny and then eat a plate full of smelly eggs right next to him. I am never inconsistent.
- I do not ask my tired daughter over and over if she wants to sit with mommy or daddy....when I know the answer is always mommy....just so I can hear her say that she prefers to be with me. That's pathetic.
- I did not stuff tissue up Stella's nose in the grocery store because I only had 1 left....definitely not enough to last the rest of the shopping trip. My objective was clearly less tissue waste....and not to humiliate my child.