Not Me Monday

No intros this week....just my Not Me list.....

• I did not get so carried away with my horse impression that I drooled all over the ground in Lowes....because I was not already galloping around with Stella on my shoulders making amazing whinny sounds. Not me, I am an adult & always conduct myself in a mature manner.

• I did not settle into my comfy backyard chair, sip my beer, & lazily throw sticks for Stella to retrieve & put back into pile next to me. No way, I do not treat Stella like a dog.

• I did not forget Stella was on my back in a carrier when I was mowing the lawn & proceed to rake her through a tree branch. No way, I am always very careful.....besides, my resume for endangering children is already top notch.

• I did not try to avoid possible scolding from my eye doctor father-in-law about Stella's eyes not being protected during said tree raking by slapping some junior ski goggles over her eyes & rewarding her with the privilege of wearing her bike helmet.....only a crazy lady would mow her lawn with a goggled & helmeted child strapped to her back.
  

• I did not stuff an entire banana in my mouth because Sofia wondered if it was possible. I do not give in to the absurd requests of a 4 year old.
  

• After rushing to Sofia's room during her nightmare, I did not first make her brush her teeth before I consoled her....that is cruel & a good mommy would never notice poop breath.

• I did not play hide & go seek with Sofia and forget to go seek her because I started checking my email. This game did not end with tears & a massive side plate of GUILT.

• I did not have a very satisfactory morning bathroom break & then reweigh myself to see if I lost any lbs. I did not clap like a delighted 2 year old to see that the scale read 1.5 pounds lighter....which really has nothing to do with my actual body & more to do with the fact that I was holding on to 1.5 pounds worth of toilet waste....and that is GA-ROSS!!

• After passing my threshold during a day filled with an irregular amount of senseless whining....I did reason that I would be a much better mommy if I sought immediate help from two friends Miller Lite & Cookie Dough....whose short term relaxation techniques did wonders.

Snapshots

Josh's girlfriend, Aubrey Johnson, took the first few pics.
Yeah....the pictures that are awesome & obviously not mine.
Click here for her website & click here for her photo blog.
She lives in Bellingham, WA. Thanks Aubrey!

A wedding the night before kept me out till 2:30am.
Lots o' libations & dancing + 8am 5k= bad idea.
Pictured: Josh Feyen, Jeff DeVries, Me, Mike Feyen


No Stella, you may not go pet the ducks.


Practicing our triple toe loops....it's a routine we're working on for our ice skating debut this winter....Fia inherited my Asians-are-awesome-at-ice-skating genes.


Here are Stella's legs & only 1 of her arms.
She actually had a band-aid on her other arm too.
She is always covered in bruises, scrapes, & blood.


My two princesses.
Please take note of Stella's "glass" slippers.
She wore them all day despite the blisters that formed.
Pain does not phase her.


A few of Sofia's Neighbors - they are all 4 years old.
Left: Madeline (2 doors down)
Middle: Rebecca (Next door)

I cut Sofia's hair this week.

She looks so much older....and now I am sad.

My friends Megan & Stephen bought Fia a Cubs onesie.
Fia LOVED it....I had to cut the bottom so she could wear it longer.
Stella also LOVES it & hates taking if off.
So....tonight is "Cubbies" on top of her jammies....again.

Side Show Rach

Harness your inner freak.....

.....and embrace it!


My elbows hyper-extend.....awesome.



Despite Peter's suggestions to NOT post pictures of my vomit-worthy feet & toes....I decided to do it anyways & risk social judgment & my blog readership going down. These are my feet....I know, barf. They are possibly the ugliest things you'll ever see. My first toe is stunted & my second extends to a rather offensive length beyond the other normal-ish toes. Between soccer & running, I only have 4 actual toe nails left...the rest are just painted skin....yeah, barf. But back to the point....I can spread my toes apart like hands....awesome....be jealous. (This picture is for Megan)



My feet are also wide & flat....like Ken Barbie doll feel....or squares. My footprints do not yield cute arch shapes with toes prints in the shape of a moon. Nope, my feet are flat like Big Foot...and my toes...well, the 2nd is so long that it looks like I'm giving people the bird....which can be interpreted as an unintended skill....or me being 1/2 alien.



There is more....
Pass it on to your children....

Sofia shows early signs of hyper extended arms. I anticipate this getting worse as she gets older as mine did....easily one of my best traits I have passed on.


She can spread her toes too....awesome.



What are your skills? Mine are my toe spreading skills & scaring people with hyper-extended elbow skills.

AND my husband still loves me despite my freak elbows & feet.

Arrest Me Cart Police....I Dare You

The other day I stopped into a local grocery store to pick up a few items. I noticed a woman glaring at me & then she approached me.

• "Ummm....you're really not supposed to put small children in the carts....it can be dangerous...see the sign?"
  

Let me preface this with the fact that I was already irritable because of some other random frustration that I have already forgotten .....anyways, my response....or retort...

• "Oh yeah?!? What, are you the cart police? Are you gonna give me a ticket?!? Are you gonna report me? Yeah, I saw the sign, but I'm gonna risk it....I like to live on the edge. Maybe next time I'll bring a helmet."

I'm not sure what was more infuriating....the statement itself or the fact that she felt it was her duty to police a stupid sign created by lawyers. Whatever the reason....I am a little ashamed to admit that I was unable to hold my tongue & snapped at her. On the other hand, I am also ashamed that I didn't really let her have it.

I understand safety, but I think we've gone completely overboard with our kids & regulations. It's not like I put my child in this cart & walk away. I am surprised we aren't forced to wear helmets when we drive in our cars....that would be far safer than seat belts. Don't even get me started on the 8/80 car seat law....but that's another post for another day.

It was just so maddening. According to her....these are a few other activities that should most certainly be banned from her world.

Wheel barrel rides
This is my cousin....thumbs up for being a risk taker!

Riding double
Some of my best memories were riding double on a pink bike with a pink banana seat! Looks like this chick got shafted....as she was forced to ride on that metal rack thing.

Tubing....no explanation needed here.
Just tell me you've all played battle tube....it's awesome & dangerous.



Absolutely out of control!!!!
And I'm not talking about the hair.



Sledding
Although these particular people might have enough winter gear on to protect them during severe wipe out.

Rollerskating.
The kid in the middle is either devastated by his brother's lame mockery or giving an excellent demo of a true hiker's outdoor bathroom squat.

Chair lifts....sorry skiers.

Anything hammock related.

Wait....wait....I got it....either we all wear helmets everywhere or we all use these. Anyone game?

I'm certain that lady owns several of these.....

Not Me Monday

I can't believe I'm still doing this....but since I don't fear social judgment....I guess I'll do another. Yet another list of things that I did not do or say.....

• I did not choose to wear my running shoes on on my way out the door to make it seem like the numerous sweat stains all over my shirt were from a rigorous workout....thus making me an active mommy who works out....not a pathetic, gross & over sweaty mommy who desperately needs a shower.

• I did not haul Stella's high chair outside & strap her in it so I could help Sofia ride a two-wheeler....because she can not be trusted unattended. I did not ignore her screams of desperation from being restrained. Surely she enjoyed the front row seat to her sister's latest mile stone.

• I did not take Stella to the backyard, strip her down to her birthday suit, & hose her down after she created a huge bowel movement masterpiece in her diaper, pants, & shirt. I do not treat my kids like wild animals.....or dirty automobiles.

• I did not need to spend a substantial amount of time straightening the several layers of padding in my suit that got rearranged in the waves. This is impossible because this would mean that my upper front torso is not large enough & needs assistance filling in the gaps. No way, my melons are ridonkulous and very intimidating.
  

• I did not go to Lowes with a simple task of buying a metal rake...and then come home with a metal leaf rake. Not me, I am not a lawn tool moron...why would anyone buy or need a metal leaf rakes.....they're useless.
  

• I did not take Stella urinating all over the bathroom floor for me to finally get my knees & scrub it clean. No way, all the rooms in my house are on a strict cleaning schedule.

• I did not wait for Sofia to say that my legs look like porcupines to finally shave them. Clearly this is an example of me engaging Sofia's animal knowledge with active participation....and not laziness.

• I did not put my cranky toddler in her crib because I knew her cries of anger & confusion for being placed there would help her push a load out....and end her cranky mood.

• I did not guzzle my very tasty piña colada so fast that I got brain freeze....no way, I am definitely aware that piña coladas contain alcohol & doing such an act would be irresponsible.

• I did not panic when my van was stolen and spend 10 minutes roaming around Meijer's parking lot with a cart full of groceries. The Meijer worker did not notice my excessive back sweat when I realized my van was at home because I took the Oldsmobile!!! Not me, such forgetfulness is restricted to the elderly & toddlers....besides, I am always cool & collected & never panic....or sweat like a man.

And the things that I did not say....

• "Mommy doesn't care if you're not tired....I'm tired....so you're gonna take a nap so I can take one too..."

• "No, Sofia....that kid actually meant to wear his pants down below his bum....because he is a punk kid who needs to learn respect....and how to dress himself."

• "Seriously?!? Can you girls see that I am trying to go to the bathroom?? No, Stella....I will not read you a book right now. Not now Fia, I will braid your hair when I'm done!"

Snapshots

Stella has discovered the glory of Oreos & milk.
Yeah....I agree...barf



Peter is surprised & throws a thumbs up.
Kerrin Sheldon loves America.



Throwin cards with Sheldon men.
Too bad I had to take their money....3 games in a row...chumps.
Only cool people give thumbs up.

Peter sees to it that our girls learn how to use tools.

He did not require that Fia wear a helmet...that was her choice.

Peter teaches Sofia how to ride a two wheeler.
Maybe he should have been a teacher.
Thanks for the bike Maggie!



Stella unattended for 15 minutes when Peter is helping Sofia.
Naturally she would find the only item she shouldn't have.
I am always more comfortable when she wears her helmet....even if she is nowhere near a bike....yes, she wears in the house sometimes....I'm not ashamed to admit it.


A long car ride....after a long morning in the sun

2nd Time's the Charm

I have a bad track record with bikes & biking....which involves a fearless (or stupid) 6-year-old, a cement face plant, an ambulance, eating liquids from a syringe for several weeks, & a giant face scab which took months to heal...sweet Rach. So I have tried to focus on my excellent fine motor skills. I thought Sofia was just like me...as she learned to tie her shoes very early. To see that, click here. But I suppose she is Peter's daughter as well....and inherited his balance...because she didn't get it from me.

Peter worked with Sofia last night on riding a two wheeler for about 15 minutes. We tried again today...and after about 5 minutes, she had it down. We have been riding up & down the block all morning.

Yay Sofia, it's documented here....you officially are riding a two wheeler at 4 years & 3 months old....we're so proud.

8 Years & Still Happy

Peter and I started dating when we were both 14 years old. Yeah, we're that couple....go ahead & gag...but only because we are so awesome that it makes you ill. Exactly 8 years ago, we finally got married....after about 6 years of dating. I celebrated my 20th birthday & then 26 days later, my daddy walked me down the aisle. Marrying Peter was the happiest day of my life.

It's easy to get caught up in "life" and all the up's & down's that come with it. I try my best to keep perspective & focus on the many blessings in my life...one of them is my absolute confidence that my husband is 100% devoted to me & loves me as Christ loves the Church. I never take our happy marriage for granted. It has been an unwavering source of strength, happiness, & stability.

We are a pretty traditional couple. I even used the word "obey" in my wedding vows....I know, GASP!! Aside from locking myself into long life of sandwich making....there is actually a good reason why I chose to use this specific word....because I am, in fact, aware that most vows have omitted this "horrible" word. The concept is quite simple.

Society has filled our heads with the idea that love = romantic images, sentimental tokens, & warm fuzzy feelings. While love can be some of those things....it's just not realistic.

I believe love should be expressed in the way that God wants it....rooted in loyalty, respect, trust, & unselfishness. It also requires an ability to be forgiving, honest, & tolerant of faults. So then obedience is a response of love....not some type forced slavery. Love & obedience go hand-in-hand....as they each require a complete sacrifice for the other....pretty simple.

That's it...I'm done preaching....maybe I'll post some more on this topic later. But for now...I'll leave you with some fun pictures....as we didn't have a slide show at our wedding.

Ha ha ha...freshman year....sick.
Some dance....winter dance maybe?
This is also what happens if Peter's hair goes unattended for too long.



High School: Junior Year
Homecoming Float
I'll argue that Peter was dating up at this point
I imagine this would look like Peter's hair after extreme neglect

High School: Senior Year
Senior Banquet....not prom....because adolescent kids do "bad" stuff at prom...so if our high school called it "Senior Banquet", then it would eliminate any & all temptations to participate in such activities....or make poor choices.



Not sure when this is....maybe the first year of college?
Nice hair Rach.



Move In Week @ Butler in Indianapolis, IN



Only a Ross Hall dorm room @ Butler would have such classy signs



Steamboat: 2000?
The year Peter taught me to ski moguls...by "leading" me down a black diamond for the first run....nice idea. I'm pretty sure I cried....a lot.



2001: Rehearsal Dinner night



August 18, 2001: First Dance



Honeymoon: We took a road trip through Canada
Awesome for 3 reasons:
1.) The US Dollar was GREAT!
2. Peter did 99.9% of the driving....I drove about 20 minutes somewhere around Niagra Falls....and almost killed us....thus ending my honeymoon driving.
3.) Canada allowed us to legally have a few drinks....because in America, we are old enough to get married & die fighting for our country...but not old enough to have a glass of wine with our dinner....just pathetic.



August 2008: Kurt & Alison's Wedding



So thank you Peter....for making me the happiest woman alive. Thank you for your daily sacrifice to provide for our family. Thank you for making me laugh & for giving me the most beautiful girls around.


I suppose I should grant Peter some credit for our beautiful girls....but only like 20% for Sofia....but I'll award a generous 70% for Stella.