Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Just A Random Clip

Sometimes I think if someone followed me around & narrated my life that they would be extremely bored & unimpressed. Although I do think some situations would be much cooler with background music...just like the movies. If only I could cue awesome action music....or cue emotional sappy tunes during various moments in my day.

Anyways, this clip doesn't pertain to background movie music....it is just funny to me every time.

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Lowes Knows....Home Depot Does Not

Peter puts paint order in at Home Depot.
Home Depot forgets one of the gallons on the order.
Peter returns to Home Depot to pick it up.
Home Depot gently sets top on paint.
Home Depot does not secure top with machine thingy.
Peter turns out of Home Depot parking lot.
Paint bucket tips & paint pours out.
Home Depot tries to deny any & all fault.

SWEET!!

Needless to say....Peter was not pleased with Home Depot.
And of course....it had to be the ONLY gallon of red paint.

The damage....from a distance



A little closer



Front: Passenger side...by the door



Middle Bench: There were literally pools of paint



Under front passenger seat....more pools


4 Bags of clean-up mess & damaged floor mats, blankets, etc.



Home Depot is blacklisted.


Monday, September 28, 2009

Not Me Monday

After a long-ish break from blogging....here I am again with another list of the things I did not do or say....

  • I was not late picking Sofia up from school because I spent several minutes in the parking lot dusting off the orange cheese powder that covered my shirt, face, & fingers because I was not gorging myself with Cheese Puffs like a hungry lioness with a fresh kill.
  • I did not find myself driving down the center of the road because I needed to pour the final cheese puffs from the huge bag directly into my mouth to consume every single crumb. That would be dangerous....and really, the important thing is that I was not wasteful with my food.
  • I did not shamelessly bag my 4 bananas in 4 separate bags & then proceed to quadruple bag those 4 bags for a total of 16 because I was out of my "dirty diaper disposal bags" at home.
  • When I saw my neighbor approaching for a chat, I did not casually stand up & discretely tuck my excess tummy skin back into my jeans, sit back down, & blouse out my shirt to hide my glorious mommy muffin top that likes to spill over the top & sides of my pants. Not me. I am proud of my had-a-few-babies-&-your-body-will-never-be-the-same-belly.
  • I did not ignore Sofia's polite request to "PLEASE TURN THE MUSIC DOWN MOMMY!!" because I needed to listen to Journey at rock concert volume. Surely she enjoyed my Journey/Supertramp/Styx mix.
  • I did not wait till a weird orangey colored ring showed up on inside of my toilet to finally clean it. I keep my house free of unknown growing mold & germ related bacteria.
  • I did not insist that Sofia wear a long sleeve shirt & wear a t-shirt....with a terrible excuse that my only long sleeve shirt is "dirty". That is outright dishonesty.

Saturday, September 26, 2009

Men of Genius

It has been awhile since I've posted one of these. I just love these radio commercials. I especially enjoy this one because I once devoured one of these "healthy" meals, got really sick, & haven't touched them since. My favorite part is the ladies in the back "....I don't see no lettuce...."

Thursday, September 24, 2009

Snapshots

Backyard Bubbles....a favorite passtime


Stella found her Halloween costume & insists on wearing it....all...the...time.


Sofia loves bacon


Stella has also become a bacon fan
But seriously....I don't think they would be allowed in this family if they did not.


Sofia started Young 5's this year.
3 days a week

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Are You Attached?

Well....I took a solid few weeks off from blogging....mostly because I realized that I was developing a very unhealthy obsession with checking other blogs, updating my blog, & wasting time on facebook. During my weeks off....I suddenly became really productive & was able to focus on being a better wife & mom. But alas, I can not cut off the few ties I have to the outside world. And besides, my Not Me Monday list is getting way too long. Here was the last post I started......Attached vs Unattached.

Are your ear lobes attached or unattached? I think the preferred text book lobe is unattached....for whatever reason....maybe because they look nicer decorated with jewelry. Mine (pictured to the right) are attached.


When I was little, I thought my ears were just one more weird thing about me....but I have come to realize that lots of people have attached lobes....here are just a few.

Actors
Top: Matthew Never-Wears-A-Shirt-McConaughey & Tomb Raider
Bottom: My freckled Asian Brethren & Big Nose Cruise



Athletes
Top: Brian McBride & Stevie Y (Just so delicious)
Bottom: Bong Boy With Gold Medals & Overrated Patriots Guy



Presidents
JFK...I think Lee H Ozwald had lobe envy...as his were unattached.
Clinton....who can easily be in the actor category....cue tear.

Monday, September 7, 2009

Not Me Monday


Despite it being Labor Day & my usual thou-shalt-not-labor mentality....I bring you another Not Me list.....
  • I did not roll up Stella's wet diaper & throw it down the stairs....where it did not hit Sofia in the shoulder causing her to fall to the ground. I did not tell her to to develop better reflexes instead of coddling her. That is just mean....on several levels.
  • I did not forgo a plate & decide that using a massive wooden spoon to shovel fried rice directly from a gi-normous wok was appropriate & classy dinner etiquette. I always set a example for my children....especially the ones pertaining to portion control & not pretending you are a wild animal.
  • I did not chase Stella around the house with her pajamas & wrestle her to the down & dress her like a hog tie competition. I also did not don my cowboys boots & hat for such an occasion....and have Sofia cheer me on & time me.
  • I did not casually walk through Meijer & actively ignore the Lady-Control-Your-Child stares....because Stella was not lodged under my arm like a giant wiggly watermelon and definitely not flailing her arms & legs like a worm about to be skewered. No way, my children never misbehave....especially in public.
  • I have mastered the ambiguous answers such as "yep....uh huh.....oh really.....wow, I know...." to stop my daughter repeating mindless questions to me....and then get upset because I didn't realize she asked permission to have another cookie. I always pay close attention to all the questions she asks me.
  • I did not lecture Sofia that picking her cuticles was a gross habit & to stop....just after I had rolled down my window to spit out the last fingernail that I finished biting off.
  • I did run an entire day of errands with "Buy One, Get One Free!!" stickers that Stella took off some random item & decided to adhere them to my two front endowments....and later wonder why people were snickering at me all day....thanks Stella.
  • I did not pick out Stella's toe lint & discretely sprinkle it on the ground in the Marshall Fields.  Not me, I don't groom my children like a wild animal....and besides, my children don't have excessive toe cheese....that's gross.

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

How Would You Spend It?

I wasn't sure if I should label this post in my Pet Peeves....but as this irritant has an expiration date...maybe I should create a "Rachel's Rants" category. Anyways, an intersection near my house has begun new road construction courtesy of the American Recovery and Reinvestment Act of 2009. Aside from the traffic increase & annoying orange barrels that always come with road construction.....there seem to be a zillion of these road signs. I typically don't have a problem with road construction signage.....just these.

Depending on location....these signs can cost between $500 and $1,200 to design, make & install. As of June 22, there were about 4,840 nationwide highway projects funded through the Recovery Act. If every project had only 1 Recovery Act sign with an average sign cost of $800....that's almost $3.9 million!!! MILLION!!! On my trip to Chicago last weekend.....I observed 4 separate times when these signs were posted on the right & left side of the expressway....as if to create some sort of gate into the construction zone. That's 8 signs for only 4 projects.

The Breton & Burton intersection near my house has 4 separate signs for 1 project....so you can be alerted from every direction. Say these signs cost $800 per sign....that's still $3,200 worth of signage for 1 measly intersection. I'm sure other construction sites also have more than 1 sign per site.

Signs are important & some sign maker made some money....I get it....fine. But what irritates me the most is that these signs can not be reused....as the Recovery Act expires in 2011 & they will be outdated! What a waste.

Here are some ways I might have spent $3,200.....
  • 640 packages of beef jerky....an entire package for nearly 2 years!
  • 2 Dove chocolate mini morsels everyday for 34 years.
  • 100 pairs of kids shoes (the expensive kind)
  • 200 pairs of kids shoes (the kind I get from Target)
  • 1280 glorious pounds of hummus
  • Gas in my van for nearly 2 years
  • Oil changes for 23 years
  • 320,000 rides on Sandy, the mechanical pony @ Meijer
  • 2,100 ice cream cones at Jersey Junction
  • 17,000 diapers....nearly 6 years worth with an average of 8 per day
How would you spend it?
 

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