Monday again....another fantastically embarrassing list of things I did not do this week.
- I do not wait for my husband's On-My-Way-Home phone call to finally run a comb through my hair & throw some make up on. No way, I always put my face on in the morning....and clock in a full day of looking presentable.
- I was not secretly relieved that my husband was in Colorado for 6 days because it translates into one less mouth to feed, one less person to pick up after, my glorious queen sized bed all to myself, going to bed at 9:30, and more me time....nope, I was definitely sad to have less laundry & the tv remote to myself all week.
- I did not hastily dash into Stella's room after a phantom cry and when she immediately fell asleep on my shoulder....I did not find myself in resting bed with her for the next 30 minutes. That would prove my selfish need for unnecessary cuddling.
- I did not make Sofia lay her wee bird turd in the bathroom at Walmart & then race across town back home because mommy dropping a deuce in a public restroom is absolultely NOT an option. No way, I do not lessen restroom sanitary standards for my children.
- I did not replace my usual after-meal oranges with gummi bears.....and reason that gummi bears are a bit cheaper.....and therefore a much better option.
- I did not haul myself out of bed at midnight....and decide the best remedy for my restlessness would be a large bowl of sour cream & onion potato chips.....that needed to be eaten in bed. That's gross.
- I did not drop small pieces of ham, cheese, tortilla chip, & apple into our fishbowl in hopes that I would walk down the next day to see a few floating. No way, that's morbid.
- I did not pack up 4 bags of smelly garbage, transport them to my dad's & dump them in his giant waste container to use his service.....and not buy tags. That's silly. I do not go to extraordinary measures to be that cheap.