Well....I suppose I'll do another one of these since I'm still pregnant....(sigh). I know I am "so close", but patience is NOT my gift. Waiting for this kid to be out of my belly does NOT involve fine motor skills....so I'm irritable & grumpy to say the least.
- I did not stuff my face with a huge meal and then decide that it would be a good idea to also devour a huge Butterfinger flurry....which did not result in a Butterfinger flurry barf session....that would be totally gluttonous....I always observe self control with food consumption.
- I do not drop pieces of trash in my house and stare at them on the ground and wait a few days until there is at least two other pieces of trash near by to pick it up....that is just really lazy.
- I do not sleep with a giant box fan approximately 2 feet from my face and wonder why my throat and nose are dried out every morning.
- I have not told people for the last two weeks that my due date was "yesterday" to convert their "you're about to pop" comments to "good luck". That would be deliberate and premeditated lying.
- I do not call Stella "whitey" because her skin is pale and she does not get tan like her sister or mother. No way, we celebrate diversity in our family....I would never give my kid an offensive and derogatory nickname.
- I did not ignore my husband's remarks about his "lost black shirt with the white buttons" for months (literally) even though I knew it was hanging in the basement waiting to be ironed. That would be a blatant lie...and besides, I never fall behind in ironing.
- I do not insist that our house be kept at frigid temperatures & completely ignore my family's complaints about it being "freezing"....because they can put on a sweatshirt!
- I am not bitter that both my very good friends (Megan & Kristin) had their babies already. No way, I am so excited for them and focused on their joy....not my own misery....punks.
- I do not resent any person who is able to hold their urine for more than an hour and 1/2.....I hate you all.