Monday, February 21, 2011

Not Me Monday

  • I do not consider Nutella and peanut butter are a fantastic and nutritional form of protein....especially when eaten together.
  • I did not discover that 3-4 beers is a fantastic way to ease burning throat, mouth, & tongue ulcers....and further decide that the extra expense should come from "medical" portion of our budget.
  • I am not slightly disappointed that my new bout of steroids did not grow me a nice handle bar mustache.....cause that would have made me famous.
  • I do not look forward to Valentines Day solely for the purpose of clearance candy....because Valentines Day is stupid. The End.
  • I did not beam with pride when Sofia emerged from the bathroom to tell me "Well mom, I just dropped a double deuce...and now I feel much better." Nope, no child of mine uses such language.
  • I did not use breastmilk in Stella's mac & cheese because I needed to save the last 1/4 cup of regular milk for Sofia's cereal the next morning. Eeew.....barf.
  • I did not seriously consider warming up mugs of breastmilk, adding some chocolate, and feeding it to my two girls in an attempt to rid them of their sicknesses.....nope, that crosses the line into crazy-lady land.
  • I did not take Mark along on Sofia's doctor appointment & have the doc take a quick looksie in his ears, listen to his chest, and also discuss his health. No way, I only paid for 1 child and would never sneak in a second child evaluation....that would be a dishonest way to save $30.....cha-ching!
  • I did not change our coffee to 1/2 decaf in a sincere effort to reduce my caffeine dependency....and then decide that the best way to handle my caffeine intake change was to drink twice as much....nice Rach....I'm smart.
  • I do not wish that the picture I entered for Mark's photo contest was more Asian give him more of an edge and perhaps a better way, that would make me racist....because Asian kids are not cuter than pale faces....suckers!
  • I did not read full episode spoilers for a tv series (Dexter season 4) that Peter and I are watching through Blockbuster movie mailings. No way, that would demonstrate both my impatience and compulsive addiction to Dexter.
  • I do not claim to live a lowfat diet lifestyle and then give way to daily temptations such as cookies, chips, chocolate, salami, bacon, pot roast, & grilled cheese. No way, low-fat is what the doctor ordered....and I take my GI health more seriously.


Chunky Knubby Navel said...

Asian kids totally are cuter. Just own it ;)

Mandy said...

Loved them!
I always have my kids ears checked out when I bring another kid in for their appointment... I don't want to spend $30 to have them tell me there is no infection! :)

Laanykidsmom said...

So glad you are blogging again. I have missed laughing at your posts.

P.S. We discuss toilet action at this house too.

Anonymous said...

Shut the front door I was laughing so hard that I was crying and I needed that today! Kayden told me I had to stop because he didn't know what I was laughing for and it was making him laugh. Go team Sheldon, Rach!

Launa said...

oh my goodness!! once again you crack me up!! So glad you are back here in this crazy blogging world!! We've missed your funniness!!

Jessica said...

Your posts are always hilarious! Chris and I are totally addicted to Dexter, too! We're in the middle of season 4 now...disc 3 is on the way!! Woo hoo!! We have had a couple of Dexter marathon weekends...poor Jacob has had to entertain himself for hours at a time!! Glad to see that we aren't the only ones who are obsessed!


blogger templates | Make Money Online