Saturday, August 6, 2011

Not Me Monday



  • I did not tell Stella that she may have string cheese only if she ate it in strings instead of chomping off large pieces like a beef stick. Not me, I do not force my OCD eating preferences on to my children
  • I did not strap a naked baby to my back and mow the lawn & reaffirm my place as crazy lady on the block.
  • I did not rake my son's face into a giant bush on the side of our house and decide that such rakings would be avoided by not mowing the entire side of the house. No way, I am always thorough with my work and never jump at pathetic opportunities to be lazy.
  • I did not decide the best time for me to meet my new neighbors would be when I was literally dripping with sweat and had a naked baby strapped to my back. Obviously, I was being super smart by lowering their expectations.
  • I do not tell my children to "leave me alone because mommy is paying bills" and get called out on my lie when Sofia asked me why I have only facebook and pinterest tabs open.
  • I did not give my daughters a long lecture about how buying a book at the bookstore is silly because libraries loan books for free....and then lose two library books and have to pay $26 to replace them....grrrr.
  • I do not prefer to dress Mark in onesies because t-shirts and shorts make him look like a little boy and less like a baby. No way. I would never do any such action to keep my son trapped in babyhood....forever and ever and ever and ever.
  • I did not get called back and lectured by my eldest daughter because I forgot to light a second and third courtesy match in the bathroom. I do not bomb out the bathroom to the point of needing more than one stench eliminator match.
  • I did not tell Stella that I would love to read to her and then send her back 3 times for a new books because the books she chose had way too many words per page. Nope, not me. Only an super lazy mom would do such a thing.
  • I have not been calling my son "Cletus" so often that he now answers to this new name. No way, I would never participate in blatant name calling.




5 comments:

Allison Feyen said...

bahahaha...one of your funniest! Cletus...hahaha.

Launa said...

Haha, your sweet boy responds to Cletus!! So funny! Great NMM!!!

Jessica Chamness said...

You are awesome!!

Anonymous said...

I totally agree with you on the "no big bites off of the string cheese stick". It is so disgusting that way!

greenjello! said...

Pretty sure it's safe to say I adore you. Yep, adore.

 

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